"Secrets" to find and maintain JOY
For a good part of my life, I pursued and achieved all the things that I was taught would equate to “success”; therefore “happiness.”
I was fortunate to move to SF for college and had an education, secured a career in the honorable field of nonprofit, I had a great partner, owned a home and was healthy- all the ingredients that I believed would bring me fulfillment. While I had what seemed like an ideal life and situation, the reality was I wasn’t truly ‘happy’ inside. I couldn’t explain why at the time, but I felt like something was missing.
What I’ve come to learn is- finding true joy, happiness & fulfillment is an inside job. It does’t come from external things, titles, or people. It requires you to be open to do the ’inner work” (or I like to think of it as the ‘work of the soul’)- and the willingness to look inward to become more aware of what’s going on underneath all the superficial feelings, insecurities and go deeper with self-exploration. It’s not about having the answers or the steps to happiness, but being okay with exploring within to find a deeper level of fulfillment that is not contingent on status, who surrounds you, income or circumstances.
While I hate to admit it, I have to be honest with you- I wasn’t alway a “happy” person.
If you feel things are ‘off’ or something is missing and you struggle tapping into your JOY, here I share a few of my secrets and tips that have helped me find & maintain JOY in my journey:
🙏🏽 Practice gratitude every.single.day! Having a regular gratitude practice helps to re-train your brain to see the positive in life. Regardless of your life circumstances, there is always something you can be grateful for, even if that is that you are alive TODAY.
🧠 Shift your mindset. Remember- how you experience reality (your life) is based on your emotions. You are able to shift your emotions by changing your thoughts. It doesn’t happen overnight but the sooner to you acknowledge that everything starts with your thoughts, you can actively change the way you think & feel. (That includes releasing worry, stress, self-doubt, fear, and choosing happiness, gratitude, love and compassion).
💆🏽♀️ Be gentle with yourself. We all have fears, insecurities, anger, bad habits, and unresolved issues- don’t judge yourself or your feelings. Acknowledging old patterns/beliefs/feeling is the first step to change. You have to first become aware of a patten/habit/belief before are you able to bring about change.
🤪 Infuse more fun, laughter & play into your life. Sometimes we can all take life too seriously and it can suck the joy from our days/weeks/life- find ways to bring more joy back into your routine. I like to dance, get in nature, let loose, connect with friends- these are all very grounding for me when I get too caught up in my head.
🧖🏽♀️Take care of yourself. Practicing self-care- mind, body & soul- will help keep you in a place to be physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually more resilient to life stressors. My self care practice involves those activities that help me tap into my joy- working out, dancing with my kids, drinks with my friends, quiet time for R & R, connecting to my passions, commitment to my personal development, etc.
👀Stay aware of your surroundings. You are a reflection of your surroundings so if you are feeling blah, ditch the Debbie Downers and those that suck the life out of you (even if that’s long time friends or family) & surround yourself with positive people that keep the vibe high and lift each other up!
While personal growth, healing and change is not always easy or comfortable, I have learned that it is worthwhile, life-changing and the outcome is priceless. Hope you found these reminders helpful. If you struggling with finding true joy in life, DM for a complimentary discovery call- I’d love to support you on your journey! 📲